


The Vongola Family Dinner

by Methoxyethane



Category: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-21
Updated: 2009-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 05:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Methoxyethane/pseuds/Methoxyethane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The next morning, Hibari didn't care who shot who or how the hors d'ouerve table got set on fire. All he wanted to know was how he ended up naked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vongola Family Dinner

The sun shone brightly that Sunday morning. Far, far too brightly, as the entirety of the Vongola had headaches. Especially for one Hibari Kyouya, who had a headache the size of Okinawa and only a few memories to back it up.

"Testu" Hibari asked, after wandering through his personal headquarters long enough to stumble across the kitchen.

Kusakabe looked up from the newspaper he was sifting through. "Morning, Kyou-san. Have a good night?"

"I'm rather curious about that myself, actually."

"Ah. Would you like some coffee? It's fresh. Breakfast, perhaps?"

"I'd LIKE to know what happened."

Kusakabe looked slightly uncomfortable. Hibari didn't take this as a good sign.

"Well. The Vongola Family dinner was last night." His second began. Hibari nodded.

"I remember as much. You're not helping."

"Well, it was a pretty good party, really. Squalo was taking pictures, and kept yelling at everyone who wouldn't hold still

"Belphegor carved the ice swan that was set up into horrible, unspeakable shapes, and then made a miniature scale of lower Venice out of the mashed potatoes. Mukuro and Marmon set the hors d'oeuvre table on fire, though no one actually figured out whether or not it was on purpose yet.

"And then there was the game of dominoes, where Ryohei ended up throwing a chair at Dino, who caught it with his face and ended up knocking over the flaming hors d'oeuvre table, which then set the carpet on fire which Gokudera tried to put out by shoving Yamamoto onto the ground and shouting 'Roll, you bastard! ROLL!'.

"After that Reborn put it out himself by dumping a pitcher of salad dressing on it. But by then You and Xanxus had started fighting over the last piece of Orange Chiffon cake, causing Lambo to get shot by a stray bullet, and Irie Shouichi ended up being the one to eat the cake anyway.

"And then Gokudera tried to bandage Lambo's bullet-wound with a bottle of whiskey and a roll of scotch tape. It didn't go very well."

Hibari didn't blink. "Yes. That's the part of the evening I remember. Tell me what happened after everyone started drinking? In fact, let's start with how I even got drunk myself when I don't like alcohol."

"Well, Mint Juleps have alcohol in them, sir, and you went though a few of them. Also, uh, that cider was kind of... The kind that has alcohol. Slightly more alcohol than beer, actually."

"Fine. I still need something explained, and I'd appreciate it if you quit stalling."

"Right. Well, once you were smashed you started taking off your clothes, and I think you mumbled something about 'feeling sexy'. Um. Then a few people started shouting things like 'take it off!' and 'give us a dance!', and Marmon started beat boxing. But then Reborn got a little green radio from... Somewhere, and turned it on, and so you uh... Got up onto a tabletop and did a striptease to the song 'Paralyzer'."

Hibari was silent. Kusakabe, unfortunately, had more.

"And then Mukuro joined you on the table, and... Well, I hesitate to call it 'dancing'. More like, 'gyrating'. Or even 'dry-humping'. But you seemed to be enjoying yourself at the time."

Hibari stared at him rather blankly. "And you..."

"Were drunk, sir. We all were at that point. I'm pretty sure Mukuro was, too."

"I... See."

Kusakabe took a drink from his coffee cup. "If your curious, I know a few people took videos with their cell phones. Try looking on youtube for 'Kyouya Hibari drunk,' or 'Vongola's Cloud and Mist Guardians making out'. You should get a hit."

Hibari stared blankly at him for a moment, before turning around. "I'm going back to bed."

"Isn't your bed still... Full of Mukuro?"

Hibari shrugged. "At least it'll be warm."

-END-


End file.
